I really want therapy to go well tomorrow. My therapist and I agreed we would talk about my previous post on resentment. She asked me to write something down about resentments, because they relate with something called attachment theory. I don't know much about this yet but I have a book called The Compassionate Mind… Continue reading Expectations
I am more aware recently that the things I write are subject to bias. The bias is from whatever emotion I am feeling at the time. I try only to write when I am feeling good, because why catalogue page upon page of negative thoughts when I could actively re-train my brain to only write… Continue reading True resentment
Therapy this Wednesday morning was hard. I felt pointless, and I think I was made to feel that way because I needed to feel something. I cried. I cried because I thought about myself as a small child, this always makes me feel quite teary. I think about that kid smiling, and I feel complete… Continue reading Who do I resent?
I woke up after a few short hours of sleep Wednesday morning. I have therapy on Wednesday mornings at 9am, not even that fact can get me to go to sleep early it seems. I am enjoying this therapy run, because I don't have to have any doubts about the therapist. I was thinking last… Continue reading Confidence and compassion
I must remember to be measured here. There is no good week or bad week, everything is negotiable. I can't shake this feeling that I am slipping back into the nothingness. I had a really productive few weeks recently, but the last fortnight has barely seen any work whatsoever. I have also lost momentum with… Continue reading Out of nothing, everything
I am thinking again about one of my favourite passages from East of Eden: This passage so perfectly encapsulates my angst about the past few years and my inability to recall large chunks of it. I said this to my therapist (she called it "The Blue Period") and she asked my why it matters. At… Continue reading Forward, slowly, never backwards
Some of you might know this about me already, but for those that don't, I am a keen supporter of radical feminism. The most important part of this though, is that I am not a feminist. Any time a man calls himself a feminist, it is a red flag, because he is readily displaying that… Continue reading On Deep Work and quitting Twitter