My supervisor said this to me once, when I was dragging my feet on a project to rejuvinate some old code for a rig in our lab. Some of the parts of the code used discontinued products, and my aim was to sort of keep the structure intact by filling these gaps left behind by… Continue reading “I’ve never known you to shy away from difficult problems”
I have a PhD to finish, and for years it has been difficult to drum up any real momentum to get it done. Although to be fair I have achieved vastly more in the last year and a bit, than I did in the several years prior to that. Each day when I think about… Continue reading Finding enjoyment in scary things
The above is often attributed to Winston Churchill, there is some dispute if he actually said it, but whether he did or not it definitely sums up his character and approach to WWII. It kind of makes what I am going to say seem very small in comparison, but the essence is appropriate. When I… Continue reading When you’re going through Hell, keep going
Nothing is worse than feeling depression and/or anxiety so severe that you cannot get a moment of peace from it. At some point or another I have experienced both, they are different, but the exhaustion is the same. With depression, you can feel totally hopeless. J.K. Rowling manifested this as "Dementors" in the Harry Potter… Continue reading Exerting moments of calm
I just bought 12 Rules for Life on paperback. While I have found the audiobook very helpful, I think at times I need to actually read the words. I can't always concentrate properly on listening to the book, as it is a complicated book. Sometimes Dr Peterson says things that I need to think about… Continue reading Let a lie be your umbrella..?
In the last day or two I’ve gone way down. I’m up early and out walking, but then I usually nap for as long as possible, or otherwise lie in bed, scrolling. Maybe I play some video games in the evening. Even games, my sanctuary, feel pointless now. I find it hard to find a… Continue reading A rock and a hard place
The last few days have been pretty rubbish. I’m feeling some pretty extreme feelings of sadness and worthlessness. Sometimes during periods like this, I find myself thinking a phrase over and over, as if to summarise those feelings. At the moment I keep thinking “I am an unpleasant person”. I think this because of ongoing,… Continue reading Painfully aware